Stuff is Stuff - Love is Love

Clipart from Microsoft.

Stuff.  Everyone has it.  And there never seems to be enough room for it all.  When we’re not careful, stuff can take over our lives, define who we are, dominate our homes and our time and crowd out things that really matter.  Like the ability to have time and energy for the people we care about.

It doesn’t have to.  Sometimes, you just have to say, “Enough is enough!” and get ruthless.  In her writings on decluttering, Flylady Marla Cilley gives guidelines on what to keep and what to get rid of.  These basically boil down to “Do you want it, need it, or love it?”  A few days ago, after weeks of procrastinating, I decided to finally give it a try.

Yesterday, while clearing years of accumulated junk from a closet, it hit me:  Stuff is Not Love.  Just because the person who gave you something loves you, it doesn’t mean that you have to hang onto that thing if you don’t want, need, or love it.  Love is love; stuff is stuff.  Sometimes stuff is given as an expression of love, but it isn’t the same thing.  If someone loved you before they gave you something, they’ll still love you regardless of whether you keep it.

You might think this would be obvious, yet when it really sank in, it had a profound effect.  I was able to take a gift I’d received two years earlier, which was still in good condition, and pass it on to my sister as a holiday present.  She loved it – and will use it.

Understanding that Stuff is Not Love makes regifting guilt-free!

So far I have decluttered my dresser, a mound of clean laundry, and most of one closet.  Three big bags of clothes went to the donation box for a local women’s shelter.  A whole trash bin of just plain junk not even worth passing on to someone else is waiting for garbage day.  And bags of gifts for friends are ready to be delivered.  It’s energizing.  It’s addictive.

Even better, when we understand that stuff is not love and start releasing the stuff we’ve accumulated into the world, we are loving ourselves by understanding that we do not need to give or receive things to be loveable.  And we are letting those things that are still useable go on to others who do need them, want them, and will love them.

Stuff is stuff.  Love is love.

You are worthy of love just as you are.